Thursday, March 5, 2015

Tips For Building A Close Relationship With An Estranged Sibling

Have you lost contact with a sibling? Do you want to find a brother or sister you have never known? Then make sure to have a read of this.


While most people are close to their siblings, or at least see them every so often, some families simply drift apart or lose touch. While some siblings know of each other but have never actually met, which is quite common for half siblings and children who have been adopted.

Although you may never have  met your brother or sister or have not seen them for years, you may still feel a bond with them.

To help you find and build up a relationship with a long lost sibling, we have put together this handy guide. For our top tips, keep reading below:

1. Locate your sibling

If you don’t know where your brother or sister lives, then the first thing you will need to do is locate them.

If you grew up with your sibling, then you will most probably find this easier to do, as you can ask family members if they have heard from them. However, locating lost family, like a half sibling or a brother or sister who was adopted, may be a little harder.

Start off by collecting all the information and details you have about your adopted sibling in a file. Ask family members what they know about them, etc. The next step is to find out whether the area in which you live will allow you to access your sibling's adoption records. Alternatively, you could use family reunion sites to try and track them down, or even Facebook.

2. Get in touch with them

Once you have your siblings contact details, the next step is to get in touch with them. This will be much easier if you are contacting a sibling you have grown up with. However, you may find it more difficult if you have never met your sibling before.

The best way to contact a sibling that you have not met before is via a letter or email. In the letter or email, explain who you are, why you would love to find them and give them your contact details so that if they want to they can contact you. Don’t expect an immediate response, it may take some time for your sibling to feel confident enough to get in touch. Especially if they didn’t realise you existed.

3. Arrange to meet

If your sibling gets back in touch with you and would like to see you, arrange to meet with them. For your first meeting, it might be a good idea to suggest meeting in a public place, to reassure them.

Don’t expect too much, remember they have a life of their own life, and it may take time for them to incorporate you into it. Explain that you would like to get to know them and build up a relationship with them, if they would like to, that is.

4. Take things slowly

Take things one step at a time. For the first few months, depending where you live, arrange to meet up once or twice a month. If you live too far away to do that, arrange to call or skype each other a couple of times a month.

As you get to know each other better, you will naturally begin to build up a relationship with one another.

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