He looked at me with those soulful eyes. I turned away and gazed at the sea. The sun was about to set again. The summer heat made my cheeks red. I listened to the whisper of the wind. As always the atmosphere brought back a thousand and one memories. That part of me that kept holding on lingered. What if I never left? What if it were still us? So many questions, not one answer.
I wanted to know the answer so I chased his eyes. I wanted to see through him. To let him admit that like me he never really moved on. It would be painful I supposed. Yet a force pulled me to touch his very soul.
So as the sun changed colors at the end of the day, there we were sitting on dry sand facing our fears. No one spoke a word yet I could hear my heart beating wildly like that of a newborn's. It was hard to explain. I actually never fathomed why I acted that way whenever I was near him. Maybe because we shared a memory. Maybe because he always occupied a special place in my heart. Maybe because he was the first person I trusted with my childhood dreams. Maybe because our souls were born at around the same time forty years ago. Maybe because we inexplicably looked alike. Maybe because deep in the crevices of our beings we still both LOVED each other.
And maybe because we were meant for each other but chose to live separate lives...
The sun was unusually huge that day and the ocean caught it slowly, beautifully, radiantly. I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes and lived in the moment not wanting the day to end. Perhaps if I never opened my eyes he'd be there always never to leave. My heart sang, sang a song from long ago. And I felt alive, truly alive, dancing, jumping, merrily smiling with eyes closed.
Then he touched my hands. The surprise sensation brought me back to my senses. I opened my eyes and there was him. As I stared into the depths of his being my breathing almost ceased. I knew very well that staring into his eyes would trigger voluminous feelings inside me. Guilt, sorrow, joy, fear and yes happiness. Happiness in that one wondrous moment when we were physically together. How could one make someone elated by merely a gaze?
Why? I could hear his soul cry out the word- why? Why did you leave? Why did you abandon my once lonely soul? You knew it would break me but you left anyway? Why? My eyes welled up until I could no longer stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. My throat caught a lump and my shoulders began to shiver. I gave in and just let myself cry out loudly not wanting to stop.
His hands crept to my cheeks and his eyes lit up. I saw the curves of his lips and his dimples shone. He wiped my tears with his fingers and drew me close, wrapped me in an embrace that seemed forever. He whispered "you are forgiven" and I began to laugh, I began to laugh out so hard it felt difficult to breathe. My giggles mingled with his and he whimpered. "I love you too much to ever be angry with you," he said in exasperation. Or what I thought at first was indeed exasperation but he was beaming. "I love you," I said and smiled at him as if for the first time. With all innocence and sweetness. I knew again he was charmed because he held my hands in his as he allowed my head to rest on his shoulders.
And we watched the sunset together for the nth time. We both knew in this lifetime we'll never be together. But our hearts were willing to wait. We both were willing to wait, forever.
The sun made its way down into the horizon into oblivion. "I love you friend," he said. "I love you too," I quipped. And our day was perfect, simply perfect.
Just like, when we were young.
~Inspired by Adele's song~
for the rest of the Sunsets and Moonlights series you may click here :)