Essential Topics to Discuss Before Marriage

Kumon

Getting married is the eventual goal for a lot of couples. However, before you reach that point, there are lots of things you and your partner need to hash out. It's a huge mistake to get married without discussing some of the most important issues that could affect you. What if you assume you're going to have kids and your partner thinks the opposite? Maybe you envisioned being a stay at home parent in your future, but they wouldn't want that to happen. Before you decide to get married, make sure you've discussed these very important issues.

Is Marriage Even on the Cards?

Above anything else, this question is obviously the most important. Before you propose or sit around waiting for a proposal, you have to take about marriage. If neither of you has ever broached the topic before, it's better to do it sooner rather than later. Some people just assume that marriage is where their long-term relationship will end up. But at the same time, their significant other is thinking that marriage has never really been something they've wanted. Don't think that it's unromantic to talk about before a proposal. It's practical and logical.

Should There Be a Proposal?

Huge, romantic gestures seem to have become the norm when it comes to getting engaged. Or at least, that's what the internet will have you believe. Proposals don't have to be elaborate affairs, and nor does it have to be a man that proposes. In fact, there doesn't even need to be a proposal. But if you do want one, you can still talk about what you would like from it. For example, you might make it clear that you don't want anything public. Another thing to think about is engagement rings. Do you want the ring to be a surprise or to choose it together? Perhaps there isn't going to be a ring at all.

Are Kids in Your Future?

Children are one of the most important things you need to discuss. A relationship where one person wants kids and the other doesn't probably isn't going to last. If you're desperate to have children, or you can't stand the idea, you need to communicate your feelings. If you do both want children, you should also discuss particulars. What happens if you can't have kids biologically? Would that be the end of your journey, or would you try other routes?

Sharing Your Religion, Culture and Values

Everyone has different values and cultural aspects they need to mesh together with their partner's. You might already be doing this if you live together. However, it's important to think about it for your future too. For example, what will your wedding look like? How will you raise your children? How are these issues going to affect you in the future, whether it's on a daily basis or special occasions? And what will you do when you disagree with each other?

It's essential to discuss these issues before you decide to get married. If you're engaged, it's a good idea to try premarital counseling before the wedding.