Saturday, October 25, 2014

What to do When You Can't Let Go of Your Relationship

Relationships are hard work. We are so emotionally invested in them that the fear of losing them often creates tension. According to some love gurus, it’s how you deal with these tensions and fears that will make or break a relationship.

When you start worrying about your relationship, it is so easy to let your concerns take hold of your entire life. You are distracted at work and getting into trouble with the boss. You’re thinking about him in the car instead of realising the traffic lights have turned green. You are reading the same paragraph over and over again, because you are too distracted to digest it.

When other areas of your life start becoming affected by worry about a relationship, it may be time to seek some advice. Usually, when we are that concerned about something, a major event is just around the corner. We tend to create a big row to release that tension. Unfortunately, it takes two to argue, and your other half probably doesn’t have a clue why you’re picking a fight.

If you can step back from it, try talking to someone else or finding advice from someone outside of your relationship. Friends will always be on your side, and can fall into the trap of telling you what they think you want, or need, to hear. For impartial advice, try a stranger!

There have never been more self-help guides out there. Books, blogs, websites and articles about relationships and how to keep them are everywhere. The truth is there wouldn’t be so many of them if we didn’t feel we needed them. Some have proven themselves and become bestsellers. Of course, everyone is different so shop around or try a few to find the one that works best for you. You can find out online what other people think about some of the better-known titles by reading reviews like this review of Matt Huston's Get Him Back Forever.

If you are starting to feel unhappy about your relationship, it can be helpful to look deeper into why. Sometimes the relationship has just run its course, and you are both ready to find new people in your lives. What hurts us is the fear of going it alone again. We don’t like being apart from those we care about, especially during weekends or holidays. It can be hard to fill your time when you are single, so if you are contemplating a split, think about having a hobby in place to keep you occupied. A hobby also gives you something else to care about and develop.

If you feel that a fear of being single is the main reason for staying with him, then it may be time to find some advice. Advice could come from one place or many different places. Maybe you’ll take the advice with a pinch of salt and carry on in your relationship as before. The best advice may even help you fully realise what you are seeking in a relationship.

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