Monday, November 25, 2013

My Healthy Pastime: Writing Fiction- Dear Friend (Series 1)

Dear Friend,

I woke up again, thinking of you. Do you have any idea how many times in a day you cross my mind? I remember you the moment I open my eyes. When I walk out the door and hear the chimes your smile welcomes me into the world. Do you remember the time we lost our minds betting in a game? I still have the pen you gave me then and each time I find work too chaotic and unbearable, I would scribble our names over and over and think of our happy times. I'd feel great after, and ready to face my battles. Sometimes I feel like giving up and everything is a bore. I'd dig for your photo in my wallet and tears would run down my face. It is funny how each drop would run after another chasing each other to my lips. They all taste the same though, bitter and hard to swallow. Hey, I've lost my appetite. The apple pies, the chips we used to gobble up in a blast no longer appeal to me. And yes, sorry I lost a lot of weight. I remember how you would recite a sermon for me when I failed to drink my vitamins. You'd make a run down of every disease I am prone to develop and I would end up shutting you up forcing my hand over your mouth. Then came the surprise we both didn't expect. I kissed you and you slapped me hard on the cheeks. I remember running after you and calling out your name. You never looked back. You just walked away and I never heard from you again, ever. I missed you, I missed you every second of the day. Everything became a blur, all my dreams, all my wishes. I even forgot who I was. You were my world. I guess it is pretty obvious, my world is still you.

Tonight I will look up the stars again and wish against all wishes that I will see you somehow in my dreams. That's the only place I could see you now. The only place where I could tell you that "I love you," that I loved you the first time I laid my eyes on you, that I loved you through the years I kept silent and made you believe you were just a friend. I guess it was too late, too late when I had the courage to let you know. You have finally found the one then, the one who took you to the altar and made a vow to be with you all the days of your lives and there was no turning back for you. Not even when you realized "life will never be the same without my smiles".  I guess that's how LIFE is, a box of surprises. That day we met again and you wished you could turn back know I wanted to take you away with me and we'd go somewhere so far no one would know. Yet you said, it was too was too late and all you asked of me was to become his friend too. I wondered and fought the pain I felt but I loved you too much that I agreed to see him with you. It was then that I learned that LIFE is cruel for the three of us. How could that one person we both dearly loved be taken away from us too soon? How could happiness be too fleeting?

And so I left you with him. Not because I did not love you enough to take care of you during your last days, but because seeing you suffer was just TOO MUCH TO BEAR! Oh God, I cursed the heavens, I even tried to snap my own life out! May God forgive me but I almost left this world before you did. Yet somehow, in the tragedy of it all, your LOVE kept me strong. As I lay in bed then contemplating I recalled your SMILE, that one SMILE that always made me feel alright. And sleep took over my weariness and I heard your voice. "Take care bestfriend, you were THE ONE, you were that one person who made me whole and nothing will ever change that...and yes I LOVE YOU TOO...take care now..."

I woke up smelling your favorite scent and reading a message from him on my phone..."SHE'S GONE"- those words ended my world....

So to this day I struggle...I struggle to LIVE a life where flowers have no colors and songs have no meaning....until that day when HEAVEN reunites me with you...FRIEND....

3 yorum:

  1. hmmm - this i love and think much of it

  2. always love your fictional thoughts Zen, makes me wander too somewhere and someone :)


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