If you’re in a relationship and children are involved, it makes it a little difficult when the relationship doesn’t seem to be working. Do you call it a day and hope for the best, or stay together for the sake of your kids? This post will help you figure out what to do, so you can make the best decision for your family:
Kids Pick Up On More Than You Know
The first thing to note is that kids pick up on more than you know. They can pick up on awkward silences, resentment, and all sorts of other emotions. Whether you’re arguing in front of them or not, and unhappy relationship can be damaging for them later on. They learn from you what to expect in their relationships, and can mirror them in their own lives later on down the line. If you are arguing in front of your kids, that’s even worse. They will sense that something is wrong. However, you shouldn’t both call it a day as soon as you realise things aren't working or you’re unhappy. You should at least give it one good, solid try before calling it off. Put your children’s need for an intact family first.
Work On Your Relationship
Work on your relationship before you just call it quits. Many people end their relationships without even trying counseling or relationship advice. You may not be married and deem it a waste of money, but you’re doing it for your kids. It’s definitely worth it if it means you can have an intact, happy family.
Don’t Just Stay Together - Get Happy
The key here is that you aren’t just tolerating one another ‘for the sake’ of your kids. You should both work on your relationship so you’re happy to be in it. So you’re happy together once again! This will be good for your children to grow up around, rather than a relationship that is obviously unhappy. Do you really want your children to perceive that this is how relationships are supposed to be? If not, you both need to make a solid effort to make one another happy again. Work out, without placing blame, where things have been going wrong and what you can do to put them right. Most relationships fail due to a breakdown in communication, and a counselor can help you with that.
Still Not Working?
So, you’ve had counseling and you’ve given your relationship another go. But things still aren’t working. As long as you’re sure there’s no way you can be happy again, then you should call the relationship a day. A child will benefit much more from having two happy parents apart, than two unhappy parents together. Many divorce lawyers will agree. As long as you keep up a good routine so they still see both of you regularly, and they understand that they are still loved and cared for just the same.
In conclusion? You should never stay together just for the sake of the kids. You should try harder to make it work before you give up, but ultimately, it could be best for everybody to call it a day.