the broken glass


She was lying there...
....getting ready for
her wedding was
something she never
envisioned...it was
akin to going to
her funeral..
that was what it felt..
at that precise moment
that was it to her...
she heard someone
knocking at the door..
'must be her mom..
she said "it is open,
come in"...but no
one entered the room
...she saw a lizard on the
ceiling...it wiggled its
tail and she felt her
insides boiling like
wine...how could he
have done this to her?
how could he have
been such a liar?
was she not that good
enough for him? what was
it she failed to do? what was
it he was looking for
that was not yet in her?...
aaah cut the crap she
forced her mind to say...
she got up, stood infront
of the mirror and stared
into her eyes...he was
there...he was written
all over her face, like
a tattoo...she grabbed
whatever it was nearest to
her right arm and shoved it
hard towards the dresser...
it made a sound that
woke her senses and she
ran out of the room...
running out of breath
she found the stairs..
logic was not her
friend at the moment...
no, she did not want a
friend to save her this
time, she wanted to end
it all...what was left
for her to live for?
she thought...she stepped
outside...the wind was
cold and breezy, her
hair danced with the
wind and she found
herself humming a
melody..."but will you say
that you love me, and show
me that you care, say when
i need you, you will
always be there..."
she kept on repeating
that line of a song while
walking in the garden..
her feet touching the
wetness of the grass
brought her senses
back..as if waking up from a
bad dream she began to
sob....the sobbing slowly
became a good cry until
she felt so weak she sat
on the bench...drying her
face...she got up...walked
back to her room...where
she lay down again...humming
to herself...lying to herself..
"he loves me..." "he loves me
so much, he wouldn't dare
leave me...ever"...and she
fell asleep, believing...
what she uttered...

3 comments

  1. you always make up a moving story to read Zen. when i was younger and felt depressed, i was like the lady in the story, i would go out, sob in our yard, hidden by the plants, lie down on grass, look up to heaven, pray, cry, then, i go back to my room, and believe tomorrow will be better. so i can relate so much in this story Zen, since that's how i was, back then.

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  2. and the good thing about it is nobody DARES pick up broken glass pieces to FIX them into a whole again...meaning, you break it, and with it leave all your angst...bitter mixes with sweet, there's no running away from it...taste the bitter when it comes, to make for better appreciation for the sweet later...take care, sis...

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  3. is this a prelude to your novel, zen? you are so good in expressing the emotions of your character. i am moved...

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